30 Day Letter Challenge: Day 2 - Letter to Your Crush

Dear ----,

  I don't like the term 'crush.' I think it's childish, meaningless, and refers to feelings that really aren't that deep. And then I realized how perfectly that describes my feelings for you. 
 
  Childish, because I've told at least two of my best friends about you and we giggle, exchange looks, and tell immature jokes about you and you are oblivious. Childish because my heart jumps and I can't stop smiling when I see you, despite knowing our conversation will be brief at best. Still, thrilled because at least we're talking! Yet I know it will never be more than that. Childish because maybe that's all I want it to be. 
 
  Meaningless, not because I don't really like you, but because I have no plans to do anything about it. Meaningless because we have a few mutual friends and see each other a few times a week, but I'll never know your favorite books or movies or foods, or get to enjoy them with you. Meaningless, because I like the idea of you, who I think you are, more than I desire to discover who you really are.
 
  I don't know you well enough to have deep feelings for you. I know you have a killer smile, especially when you're teasing, and I know that you're never in too much of a hurry to at least say hi. I know that you're a great conversationalist and witty enough to continually make me laugh. I know that not one person I've met has had a bad thing to say about you, but everything else is just a guess, just how I think you probably are. Nothing else is fact, so how can I love what I don't know? 
 
  A crush is the perfect way to describe you. And maybe there's nothing wrong with crushes, so long as I recognize it for what it is, and what it never will be. And what it is, is you.

~Steph

Apology

I should have thought this through, before starting a blog. I mean, the first 2 full months of the summer, I was bored out of my mind with only the World Cup to entertain me, yet I simply read other blogs. Then a month before summer ends, while working 12-hour shifts, 4 days a week, I decide to create a blog, with the intent to write at least write once a week. Fail. And then school starts up again. I kept telling myself I just need a week or two to adjust and once things calm down, I can write again. Bigger fail. Somehow every time I discover a small pocket of free time, I manage to find another way to fill it, another cause to join. I find myself signing up for things, even knowing that I have no free time! And so the nights get shorter, stress levels elevate, and my blog gets ignored. To all two of my faithful followers, I apologize. Time is a slippery little fellow, and well, I'm barely hanging on. 

Now, while I still have a few spare minutes thanks to skipping a class and procrastinating studying, let's move on to the next letter I should have written long ago.

30 Day Letter Challenge: Day 1 - Letter to Your Best Friend

Dear ----,

   Although I have many best friends, from different places and for different reasons, I chose to write to you since you are the one I'm closest to right now. This may be because you are dating my brother or because we have been best friends for 7 years now, the longest I've ever lived in one place, but either way I'm glad we met. You seem to remember it better than I do... I simply recall being friendless one day and the next we were inseparable.

   When I really look at us, I have to laugh, because we are pretty different in a lot of important ways. Yet, the little things we agree on and share is what makes us so close! Like soccer!! and being bums! and all the stupid games we were too old for but enjoyed sooo much anyways!!!

   You are one of the few people who I've let in on a lot of the things I won't even admit to myself. You don't let me get away with anything, and I love that about you (most of the time, anyways). haha. Neither of us are mushy kind of people, so this is kinda difficult to write, but I really do love you and I'm glad we are best friends.

   In all honesty, sometimes I hate that you are dating my brother and that our relationship (and that of me and my brother) is hurting because of it. I miss the days when you came over just to see me, not my brother, or my sister. When I look again, though, I realize I am being jealous for no good reason, and in fact we may even be better friends because you are so close with my family. You, more than anyone else, can sympathize when I complain or roll your eyes at me when I exaggerate about them. Besides, everyone dreams of being related to their best friend, and I never have to worry about losing touch with you!!

   Someday, if I finally settle down and have kids, you're gonna be the godmother of at least one of them. Ok fine... you can be the godmother of one of my cats. Or my monkey! Either way, you're gonna be a part of my life forever, whether you like it or not. I can only hope our real lives don't turn out the way things did for us in LIFE... watch out for payday. ;-)


~Steph

Blogging

Hmmm. I'm thinking this might take me a while to figure out fully. I mean, I'm still not sure what prompted me to even start a blog! What if I don't like it? Do I just stop? Probably. But thanks to two of my bestest friends, I have a blog. 

I used to think blogging was for the really artsy types, or the great writers, neither of which I consider myself. Maybe it is. But apparently every once in a while a bored college kid like me gets talked into posting paragraphs on nothing that probably no one will ever read. Except for those few loyal friends. 

To be honest, I have no idea what to write. I feel like I'm talking to myself! Though, I guess I kind of am. Anyways, while I try to figure this whole thing out, I'm gonna start with this 30-day letter challenge thing that prompted me to do this in the first place. There's no possible way I will have the spare time to write every day for the next 30 days, but eventually I will write all 30, even if it becomes a 30-week challenge. :-) Bear with me, all you nonexistent readers!!